I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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