The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
