I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
