in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
