it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You need Xanax blowdarts
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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