watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
