So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I think your dad took our porno
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
