we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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