think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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