Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
This girl is more easily done than said...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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