bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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