dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
