I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
