plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
