I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
