Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
