I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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