dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
