if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
