State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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