Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
