Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
