How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize