Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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