I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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