You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
