It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
