ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
