soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize