i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
