I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
