Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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