I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
