This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
How naked do you want me to be?
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