First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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