i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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