Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

you were so drunk you slurred your pauses

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.

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(760): View more from California

I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning

(519): View more from Ontario

Omg I think I'm in the wrong class

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(559): View more from California

Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes

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(660): View more from Missouri

So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers

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(510): View more from California

my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.

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(555): View more from

The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34

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