Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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