I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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