i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
