i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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