so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
