Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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