A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize