I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
