I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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