thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize