So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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