Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize