There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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