giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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