I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
