It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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