whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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