The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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