You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
