He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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