2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
