I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
