My first STD was from a foam party
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
