The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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