Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
pray to the hookup gods
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
