You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
